Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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