Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
