Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
