a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
