So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
