oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
