I accidentally burped into my bong.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
