She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
