I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I did not marry a roomba.
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