if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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