Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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