i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
