you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we made out on top of his cat.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
