too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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