How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
