I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
