Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
