Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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