Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize