oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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