so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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