wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
