Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
