Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
