Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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