I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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