their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
