i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
