i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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