If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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