Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
