So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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