y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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