i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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