He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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