i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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