i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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