Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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