I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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