I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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