508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
