He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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