Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
