im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
