im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
