It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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