Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Four minutes until I can fart!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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