I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
