Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
