her vagine was all disorganized.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
