i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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