My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
