My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
