i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
