i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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