Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Duck Duck Cougar?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
